So there is this guy in my life and I don't know much about him other then that he looks kinda funny with his big nose and bald head. Everyone else around me has hair, mom has hair, my aunts and uncles have hair, Bo and Sydney have lots and lots of hair, but he has none. Other than his odd looks he doesn't seem to stick around all that much. He usually takes me for a walk in the morning and is gone all day only to return at night when I am supposed to be getting ready for bed. When he is around he is sort of fun in a silly way always turning me upside down, shaking me back and forth and tickling the laughs out of me. I pretend I like it all since it seems to make him happy. So today mom drops me off in the middle of the day with this stranger and leaves. I figure she will be back soon so I hang with this guy for a few hours in a big room filled with surfboards. People are coming and going and I am getting passed around like a joint at a Grateful Dead concert but having fun nonetheless. Where is mom? Finally we jump in the car and I take a little nap and wake up at home and still no mom. I'm starting to stress out a little because I am getting a little hungry and I can use some boob juice. I think the weird looking guy sensed my need and proceeded to stick some nasty plastic nipple thing into my mouth. Are you kidding me, I thought, where the hell is my mom's boob? I don't want this fake plastic titty thing in my mouth no matter how much boob juice it shoots into me. I fought that guy for a good half hour until I got enough food into my belly to think about going to sleep. I spend the night dreaming about my mom's perfect boobs. They had better be here for me when I wake up.
Sarah
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